Flower of Passion
by miamijuggler
Summary: A sequel to A Love Beyond Death. Please read that fic first, as this one might not makes sense without it. A closer look at Cloud and Aeris's developing relationship. Rated for eventual lemon.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

Okay, so I haven't written a fic in a many number of years, and for a while had even managed to think that I had outgrown it. Then one of you (I'm not sure which) reviewed my other FF VII fic "A Love Beyond Death," and I got sucked back into the story and world of Final Fantasy VII.

As you can tell from my previous work, I'm a huge sap and a hopeless romantic, and as a result, my writing is full of angst and love. However, I wanted to revisit that world and do something different, something exciting.

Having grown older in the years between now and the last time I wrote a fan fiction, I have had the chance to explore my own sexuality more, and as a result, I also wanted to explore an aspect of these characters that is often hidden from us. So that is where this fic started from.

Originally it was supposed to be a one-shot about Cloud and Aeris making love for the first time. However, that posed several problems. First, it meant that it either had to be during the plotline of the original game, in an alternate timeline after the game, or in a timeline that exists post-_Advent Children_. I didn't feel like they would have had time or opportunity to really do it during the game timeline, and in the post-_Advent Children_ option, there was Zack to deal with. In the end, I chose the second option, and chose to make it a direct sequel to my aforementioned fic "A Love Beyond Death." This took care of the annoying detail of resurrecting Aeris, but left the characters at a point where I felt that they had a lot of development to do before they were ready to make love in a healthy and meaningful manner.

So, in other words, it turned out to be a much larger project than I had originally intended. Nevertheless, I've decided to soldier on, thinking that the telling of a good story, and of telling it correctly, is more important than any demands on my time or on my dignity. I do _highly recommend_ that you read my other fic "A Love Beyond Death" before you read this one, as this one is a direct sequel, and this fic is based on the paradigm established in the previous one.

Also, I'm attempting to tell the story entirely from Aeris's point of view. Which presents another problem in that I am a male trying to tell a tale of female sexuality. I've tried to find references among my friends but I simply don't know of any girl that has completed FF7 and is familiar with Aeris's character. So I'd like to ask a favor. I would like constructive criticism of my (over 21, please) female readers as this story progresses. I would like to see how accurate my portrayal of female sexuality is, and if something in the story really needs changing, I would be willing to change it, pending sufficient reason. If I could ask you to message me directly, and not clutter up the review section with these particular constructive criticisms; that's for letting me know what readers think of the work in general.

In conclusion I will state once more that this is a mature work intended for mature (meaning over 18) readers. Let me be more clear: DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE! The first chapter might be relatively tame, but succeeding chapters are going to be much more explicit. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I do enjoy reading reviews, either positive or negative, so long as they're rational and intelligent. I don't argue over the internet, unless it's constructive, so flaming is kind of pointless.

Okay, enough rambling, on with the show!

Thank you, and Enjoy.

* * *

-Chapter One-

A Second Chance

The morning was bright and clear, and even a little chilly for Aeris's taste, but they headed out of town anyway just as the last shreds of mist clung to the tall grasses. Far off in the distance she could see the dim outline of Midgar on the horizon, and her stomach twisted a little. Eventually, she would have to return there and face what she had left behind.

There would be time enough for that, though.

Right now, it was a beautiful day, and she was with the man she thought she would never see again. They had spent the previous evening tucked away in Cloud's room at the inn, talking about anything and everything. Mostly, she had wanted to know everything that had happened during her absence. She pestered him about all the tiny details until she thought that he would throw her out of the room in frustration.

But he didn't.

And so they had talked, haltingly at first, and then more easily and naturally, with only brief indulgences in kissing. In fact they had probably spent more time nibbling on horrible room service food than they had on physical affections.

Aeris giggled a little at this, which caused Cloud to glance over his shoulder at her and raise a questioning eyebrow.

"Oh, it's nothing," she smiled warmly, "never mind."

He returned her smile and nodded, striding easily up the next hill a little bit ahead of her.

She felt once again like she had missed something.

It was something that had tugged at her mind throughout the previous afternoon and evening. There was something… _off_ about Cloud. Perhaps not Cloud himself, but about how Cloud seemed to be focused in completely different directions than she was. She would be talking about how she was excited to see everyone again, and what they would think when they saw them together, and then Cloud had gone on to describe at length the new hand replacement that Barret was getting for the gun arm.

Not necessarily cold, or anywhere near it, but just… _off_.

"There he is," Cloud suddenly stopped at the crest of a ridge and pointed far off into the crystalline blue sky.

"Where?" she said, stepping up next to him and shielding her eyes from the sun.

"There," he stepped in close to her so she could sight along his extended arm, "about two-o-clock high."

She looked in the direction he was pointing, and far in the distance she spied a miniscule speck of darker blue against the lighter canvas. She could have been just imagining it, though.

"Geez, Cloud, you've got some phenomenal eyes. I can't see a thing," she said.

He dropped his pointing arm back to his side, and suddenly she was aware of his scent, spicy and keen, and could feel the warmth radiating off his body. She leaned in closer to ward off the morning chill.

"Except you, of course," she finished, reaching up and trailing her fingertips across the sensitive part of his neck. He took hold of her hand in one of his (how warm it was), and fixed her with his shining mako eyes. She tilted her head up towards him, leaning in closer.

He squeezed her hand laughing gently, and said, "C'mon, there's a flat spot up ahead, he'll probably land there," as he led her eagerly down the slope.

She smiled outwardly as she stumbled down the slope after him, but bit her lip and wondered why she felt so anxious inside.

-.-

The hum of the airship's engines and the whoosh of air around them did nothing to still the icy ball of discomfort that was slowly taking up residence in the pit of her stomach.

_It's just nerves_, she told herself, _You're just nervous about meeting everybody again. After all that they've been through together, it's going to feel a little like being an outsider, but things will work themselves out…_

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked, startling her out of her reverie.

"Hunh? Oh…it's- It's nothing," she said and gave a small sigh before continuing, "I just feel a little weird seeing everyone again after being absent for so long. I'm worried that I'm going to end up as a bit of an outsider."

"That's ridiculous. Everything we did, we did it because of you," he said, plunking down beside her.

"That's sweet of you to say, but I can't help but think that all of you went through so much without me that I won't be able to truly be a part of the group anymore. And there won't be anyone to blame, really, it's just the way things happened."

"Well, you'll be a part of the group if _I_ have anything to say about it."

He took her hand and kissed it gently. A warm smile bloomed on her face, and she leaned over and put her head on his shoulder. She felt his body stiffen slightly at this, and then gradually relax as he focused on the landscape whizzing by below them. Long minutes went by, and she half-expected him to say something, but he didn't.

Half an hour later, Cloud still hadn't moved a muscle, and neither had she, thoroughly lost in listening to his breathing and his strong, steady heartbeat while watching the mountains pass by below.

"Okay, you two," Cid chimed from the helm, "enough of that. I need your help for a second, Cloud."

Cloud patted her arm gently, and went to go help Cid on the bridge behind her. Aeris stood at the railing and watched through the enormous windows as the small village of Nibelheim peeked its way into view.

-.-

The hatch on the Highwind opened, swinging outward and making the world blustery as the massive engines continued to cycle down. The turbulent air caught all of the stray strands of hair Aeris hadn't thought to tie down and flung them mercilessly about her face. Laughing lightly over the roar of the engines, she carefully stepped down the gangway, and started up the hill, where she could see several familiar figures already tramping down to greet her.

She smiled up at them and waited for Cloud and Cid to disembark, shielding her eyes from the sun.

Gradually the noise from the engines died from a terrible roar to a tolerable din, and Cloud appeared at her elbow, grinning from ear to ear. Placing his hand on her shoulder, he leaned in close to her ear to make himself heard.

"Let's go say hi," he shouted, barely audible and they started up the hill to meet the others.

While he had spoken only briefly, his lips had brushed so lightly against the rim of her ear, and it sent a bolt of electricity through her body that completely surprised her. Her heart fluttered and for the few moments as they walked, she could think of nothing else, remembering the heat of his breath on her skin, and the soft tickle of his lips that made her want to melt…

"Aeris!" Tifa smiled warmly and drew her into a tight embrace.

Aeris was caught off guard as she was brought abruptly back to reality, and was slightly uncomfortable as all of the awkwardness of the love triangle between her, Cloud, and Tifa came rushing back to her. Nevertheless, she returned the hug, and was relieved to find that she felt she could trust Tifa's kindness. It didn't feel fake or forced.

"Hey girl," Barret's deep voice rumbled, "How ya doin'?"

"I'm good, Barret," she giggled, attempting to wrap her arms around the massive chest.

She and Yuffie exchanged cordial pleasantries, and she even got a pleasant nod from Vincent. She would've hugged him too, but she knew it just wasn't his way. In the distance she could see a bright red patch of color streaking through the pale green grass.

"Red!" she exclaimed.

"So sorry I'm late," Red XIII explained when he arrived, "I had to finish teaching my Planetary Theology class."

Aeris dropped her bag and fell to her knees to give him an enthusiastic hug, and ruffling his tawny mane like an eager puppy. Barret roared with laughter at the look of surprise that crossed Red XIII's wolfish features.

"He ain't let nobody else get away wit' dat for a long time!"

"And for just this once, I will tolerate it, " Red joked, narrowing his single bright and happy eye at Aeris.

She laughed and tousled his fur again. "You've gotten bigger since I saw you last."

"Ah yes, the days of leisure have caused me to put on a few pounds, but as far as those go, you might want to ask our one-handed friend here to stop sucking in his gut," he gestured towards Barret.

Aeris looked just in time to see Tifa playfully backhand him across the chest, and with an expulsion of breath, she noticed that Barret had stopped withholding the fact that he had made considerable progress on what some would call a beer belly.

Holding her hand to her mouth, she laughed merrily along with the others.

"What can I say," Barret explained, "I like food."

This caused another round of laughter, and as Cloud took her hand, the group started slowly back up the hill towards the inn.

-.-

The night air had chilled, but the kitchen at the back of the inn was warm and slightly humid with the steaming hot water required for washing dishes. Cloud, Aeris and Tifa were finishing up the last of the pile of plates from their evening feast and talking quietly. Aeris could not remember having eaten so much ever before.

"…and _then_ the entire crater blew! We barely made it out alive…" Tifa said, drying off the last of the drinking glasses and setting it in the cupboard.

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is Tifa's favorite story," Cloud teased.

"Oh? And I suppose I should have just let you drop?" Tifa shot back.

"If I knew I'd have to listen to you tell this story over and over again, I'd have considered it,"

Tifa fired the wet dishrag across the kitchen at Cloud who caught it easily, smirking and throwing a conspiratorial wink at Aeris. He got up from the stool he was sitting on and hung the dishrag up to dry.

"I'll go bring your bags upstairs," he said, and touched her shoulder on his way past out to the common room, leaving her and Tifa alone in the kitchen. An awkward silence settled around the two of them, and it was Aeris that buckled first.

"Tifa, I…"

"Yes?"

"I guess I want to apologize to you, but I don't know how."

"For what?"

"Well, I know that you and Cloud…" Aeris struggled to find the right words, "had a thing."

Tifa smiled wanly, not looking up from her work, waiting patiently for Aeris to continue.

"And I feel bad for taking that away from you. I knew how you felt, and I pursued Cloud anyway. It was… it was wrong of me. I can't really explain it… he just – there's just something about him that draws me to him."

There was a long pause as Tifa thought about what to say.

"Tifa, I'm so.."

"It's okay," Tifa interrupted, speaking softly, "Really, it's okay."

Looking up, she fixed Aeris with her gaze. Aeris was relieved to find that it was not cruel, or vengeful.

"To start with, Cloud and I never had a 'thing.'" Tifa let out a long sigh, glancing up at the ceiling, "I suppose I grew up reading too many stories, and I had this notion of 'true love' that could only exist on paper. I grew up with Cloud, and I kind of included him in my fairy-tale notion of love. I guess I always figured he would eventually figure it out. I have to admit that it hurt, though. It hurt that after all those years, growing up with Cloud, and seeing him off to become a SOLDIER, and then running into him after everything in Midgar, I... I actually thought that something would finally happen between me and him. But then you showed up and stole his heart without so much as trying."

Aeris's heart twisted with shame, "Tifa, I-"

"Don't interrupt me, I need to get this out."

Aeris clamped her mouth shut.

"It was a while before I could admit to myself that I actually had competition. And it hurt. It hurt that he chose to sneak out of our rooms at the Golden Saucer and ride the Gondola with you."

Aeris blushed.

"Oh yes," Tifa smiled, pointing a finger at Aeris, "I found out about that, by the way. And it hurt that something I had always counted on as a sure thing was slowly slipping away from me. But I've done a lot of growing up since then. When Cait Sith read that fortune, it broke my heart, but in the end I was glad, because my heart needed breaking. I needed to let go of those dreams from my childhood, and live in the moment."

"By the time you… you…

Tifa searched awkwardly for the right words.

"By the time that Sephiroth, um…," her voice became quiet and reverent, "By the time that you left us, and I saw the way that Cloud looked at you as he held you in his arms, I knew that I could never live up to that, and that I should let him go," she paused and shrugged, "and I have."

"So really, _really_, it's okay. I'm not holding any grudges. I'm just glad you're here with us again. Cloud was really starting to worry us in the days before he left to find you, and he's much better now. Back to the Cloud I remember from when we were growing up here."

Aeris smiled slightly, though her eyes were glazed with tears.

"Thank you," she said finally.

"Oh come now, none of that," Tifa said, coming around the extended counter to where Aeris sat and gave her a hug, "You've had a long enough day without any of this kind of talk. C'mon, we're done here, let's see what Cloud is up to."

"What about Cloud?" he said as he walked back through the door to the kitchen.

"Hm? Oh nothing, just girl talk," Tifa said, smirking at him "Nothing you need to be concerned about."

Cloud raised an inquiring eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Come here and get this girl to sleep, she's had a long day," Tifa ordered.

"Okay, c'mon, you…" he said, and picked Aeris up off the stool, causing her to squeak slightly with glee, and carried her out towards the common room.

"Tifa sure seems like she runs things around here," Aeris said.

Cloud gave a noncommittal grunt.

"I thought _you_ were supposed to be the leader."

"I'm the boss, but she's the manager," he admitted, beginning his way up the stairs, "without her, nothing would get done around here."

"So what is it exactly that _you_ do?"

Could paused at the top of the stairs a moment to contemplate this.

"You might say that Tifa is the 'Who,' 'Where,' and 'When,' and that I take care of the 'What' and 'How' side of things."

"Does that mean that she does more than work than you?" Aeris teased.

"Probably," he chuckled, stopping in the hallway in front of the third door and setting her down.

He looked at her, his arms still circling her waist. It caused her blood to thrum with energy wherever his body touched hers.

"This is your room."

"You mean I don't get to share with you?" she asked, coyly, emboldened by his scent again.

He laughed and shook his head slightly.

"My room's a mess, you wouldn't want to stay in there…" he trailed off, lost in her eyes.

"You're sure?" she cooed significantly, mischief glinting in her eyes.

Cloud's command of language was suddenly far away; on vacation in Costa del Sol, perhaps. She felt intoxicated by his presence. His simple, solid reality. Her mind wandered back to the moment when his lips and voice had caressed her earlobe and felt a quiver of warmth shoot through her.

Aeris reached up and grabbed his collar, pulling him down to her lips.

She kissed him softly at first, then more openly and with greater passion. His lips parted to keep pace with hers, and she flicked her probing tongue across the sharp line of his teeth, and drawing in a deep gasp when his tongue tasted hers in return. He moaned softly into her mouth, and she pressed her body tightly against him. She felt a stirring hardness pressing against her from below his belt line.

He broke the kiss and smiled at her, blushing and out of breath. She could feel their shared pulse beat loudly in her temples.

"Good night, Aeris," he said.

And with that, he continued on down the hall towards his own chambers.

Shivering with both passion and exhaustion, she opened the door to her room and answered the call of the warm bed than lay within.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note 2.0:

Okay, so second chapter.

It's a bit more risqué, and perhaps a bit rough around the edges, as I'm a man writing a woman's part. I always welcome reviews and constructive criticism.

I'm willing to rewrite certain sections of this given enough justification, so if you female readers feel something is out of place, again, let me know (in a message, not review, please), and I'll consider revising it.

This was a tough chapter to write, so I hope you enjoy it. More to come as I manage to hammer it out.

-------------------------

-Chapter Two-

Aeris drifted in and out of sleep, at first too hot, stifled by the blankets, and then shivering cold. As she lay awake, her worries of the past few days came back to haunt her, as much as she tried to tell herself they would go away in time, and that they existed only in her imagination.

It must have been half past two in the morning, but in the dark stillness of the large inn, Aeris still couldn't sleep. She could go to Cloud, but he was far off down the hall, and the nights were getting downright cold.

Being with Cloud was absolutely wonderful, and she had reveled in these past few days, happily falling in love. They had laughed together, and fallen asleep by the fire together, and spent almost every moment together since she had arrived in Nibelheim. But somehow…

Her pale green eyes stood open against the quiet night, trying to make sense of the shadows, both the ones filtering through the window, and the ones lingering in her heart.

He was… Cloud was dizzying, wasn't he?

It was a good term for the effect he had on her. Every moment she spent with him cumulated in an intense desire to be near him. To touch him, to kiss him, to hold him, and… and to take him. After a certain period of time the heat would begin to build in her body, and she would have to take him aside and pull him close, her lips devouring his in her passion.

But each time, as her passion bloomed and all she wanted was for him to take her and pierce her with his fiery heat, his passion tapered off. His breathing still heavy, his blood still hot, he would cease his reciprocations, and hold her tightly to him in an embrace of finality.

She in her patience and humility would always relent, thinking perhaps it would be best to take things a bit slower. She didn't want to rush him into anything physical and perhaps scare him off.

But the other side of the coin kept nagging at her mind. It would not stop echoing in the dark corners of her night.

_What if he's changed his mind?_

It fit, didn't it? To a certain extent?

_What if he doesn't want to be with me anymore?_

He was fine to hang out with when he was with everyone else, and even most of the time when they were alone. But whenever they became intimate, either verbally, emotionally, or physically, he… he went away. He faded from her.

It was always innocent, either changing the subject, or giving noncommittal responses, or simply stroking her hair tenderly and holding her close, instead of unleashing his passion upon her body, as she wished to do to him. It also didn't help that she still slept alone most nights, confined to her own room, while his bedroom was far off down the hall.

She couldn't be sure, and so the coin kept spinning in her mind: a matter of simple patience on one side, and a shattered heart on the other. The anxiety kept building in her heart, causing her to take ragged, panicky breaths until she finally squeezed her eyes shut, spilling the terrified tears down her cheeks and dampening the soft cotton pillowcase.

Sobbing into the night, Aeris's panic and fear eventually spent themselves, and she drowsed slightly.

-------------------------

"Unngh!"

It was a single, muffled vocalization that pulled Aeris from the arms of sleep. It seemed so abstract and out of place that at first she thought she had imagined it. Then it came again.

She heard a pleading, sighing high-pitched moan that was unmasked in its ecstasy. It came from the room adjacent to hers. From _Tifa's room_, she thought with a start.

"Mmm, yes… don't stop…"

It would have been impossible to hear during the day, as the walls of the inn were far from thin, but in the stillness of the night, she could hear quite a bit. A soft wooden creaking accompanied Tifa's moaning and whimpering.

"Oh yeah, right there," she could hear Tifa croon, "Mmmm, harder."

Despite her most violent protests, her mind conjured up images of Cloud sweating and naked in the moonlight, clutching and writhing with Tifa in the very same throes of passion that he would not share with her. The soundtrack of Tifa's groans of ecstasy would not let her release the brutal visualization of Tifa and Cloud making love. Panic started building in Aeris's chest again as in her mind's eye, Cloud looked directly at Aeris with cold laughing eyes as he continued his ministrations on Tifa's flushed and eager body.

As the passion of the lovers next door increased, the rhythmic creaking of the bed accelerating along with the pulse of Tifa's moans, so did the tears well up in Aeris's eyes. Furious and frustrated, she almost stormed out of bed when she heard Tifa cry;

"Shit, Barret! I'm gonna… I'm gonna…"

At which point Tifa's ecstasy no longer became intelligible, but rather a high-pitched quavering wail. There were a series of accompanying male grunts, and Aeris assumed that he had shared her climax.

Aeris's eyes were open wide with shock and disbelief.

_Barret?_

It wasn't the last thing she would have guessed, but it was so far from what her insecurities were feeding her that the realization prevented her from thinking rationally for a few moments.

_Barret! No wonder!_

She expelled a ragged sigh of relief, thankful that her deepest fears had been disproved. There was some muffled conversation next door, and although she couldn't understand what was being said, she definitely confirmed that it was the deep rumble of Barret's voice, and not Cloud's, that had kindled Tifa's fire tonight.

After a while, Aeris heard heavy footsteps sneaking back up the hallway, and a final creak of the bed next door before the sound of Tifa's soft snoring permeated the air.

Relieved with finding out that Cloud and Tifa were _not _having an affair, and having listened to a passionate round of lovemaking, Aeris was left considering her own need. A need which Cloud had fueled into a burning passion several times over the past week, only to fade away, leaving her… well, unsatisfied.

She let her fingertips of her left hand trail gently along her exposed collarbone, and felt a familiar tingle run through her body. It echoed all the way down to her toes and back up her legs again before settling into the secret valley that lay between. She brushed a stray strand of hair from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear and relishing the exquisite sensation of such gentle contact on her sensitive skin.

Yes, something must be done. She would have to take care of this, or she would never get to sleep.

Her left hand trailed down from her ear, tracing down the sensuous muscles of her neck and throat. It wandered along the opposite collarbone, and slid the strap of her nightgown down off her shoulder. She breathed deeply, reveling in the feel of the night air on the fresh patch of skin she had just uncovered. She rubbed her cheek against it as her hand moved back to the center of her chest, just above her heart. Pulling the covers down slightly with her opposite hand, she let her intimate hand trail down the center of her chest, exciting her flesh through the thin fabric of her nightgown.

When it reached her navel, she dragged it to a halt and it splayed across her belly just above her waistline, despite its insistence on venturing further down.

_No,_ she smiled to herself, _not yet._

Her hand clawed itself shut, bunching the fabric of her nightgown between her fingers, and she arched into it at the pleasure of the cloth being dragged across her naked skin. Her breath hitched, and came out as a sigh as she worked her hand back upwards, undoing the buttons on her nightgown as she went.

Her bare skin was dimly outlined by the moonlight as the fabric fell away. Her hand explored the flatness of her stomach then wandered up and traced the soft rim of one nude breast. She ran a finger across it, carefully avoiding the nipple that positively shivered with desire. Sliding the other shoulder out of her nightgown, Aeris slowly let her fingers delicately circle her other breast, starting at the outside and slowly working their way inwards.

There was a sharp intake of breath, and she smiled and bit her lower lip as her fingertips finally grazed her eager nipple. She felt another shiver run through her body and feed the warmth that was building at her core.

Realizing that her right hand was twisted deeply into the quilt and sheets, she managed to extract it and put it to better use. It trailed down her naked ribcage and past her waist, stopping only once it had passed the hem of her nightgown and found her bare knee. Her left hand continued its attentions on her breasts as she let her well-groomed fingernails trace a delicate line up the inside of her thigh. She paused at the point where her leg joined to her torso, just outside of the patch of downy auburn hair that graced her cleft. She rubbed there, just shy of her moistening slit, wanting desperately to fulfill herself, and enjoying the wanting.

A soft whimper escaped her lips as she feathered a thumb across her nipple.

Her fingers deftly parted her nether lips, and she felt the burning heat and dampness that issued from within. Aeris's breathing hitched again. She probed a little deeper, pressing against the smooth, yielding walls of her sex. She trembled slightly out of pure ecstasy. Her toes curled and she uttered a low groan as she found the spot inside of her that loved to be pressed and massaged.

Her hips bucked and ground against her hand, the moonlight flowing like a river across her naked skin. With her free hand she made love to every inch of her exposed body as a lover would, groping, caressing, and exploring all of her most erogenous parts.

The hand inside of her increased its pace to keep up with the fire that burned within her. She wanted, she _needed_ release. She withdrew her fingers, now slick with her dew, and parted her folds with her other hand in search of that tiny sensitive rosebud that she knew could give her the release that she craved. She stroked it gently with a damp fingertip, and her body twitched as if struck by lightning.

_More,_ her body insisted.

She obeyed.

Slowly at first, arching her heaving chest towards the sky, and hair splayed across the pillow, she gave herself entirely to the pleasure radiating from her drenched sex and filling her body. She could see herself in her mind's eye, bare legs splayed open, naked except for the disarrayed wisps of nightgown still clinging desperately to her midsection, fingering herself into moonlit oblivion. Aeris rubbed the core of her need furiously, whimpering plaintively for release.

Indeed she would have cried out in pleasure and ecstasy, but had to stifle her voice, as she did not want to wake anyone.

A vision of Cloud entered her imagination.

Her muscles clamped down, her eyes wrenched themselves shut, the rush of blood deafening in her ears, and she threw her left hand astray and clung on for dear life as she bucked and writhed in her moment of climax. Her mouth hung open in a silent scream of pleasure as she continued rubbing herself vigorously. Her breath came in fast, explosive gasps, her climax washing over her like a freight train.

Slowly, her muscles relaxed, her eyes opened, and she could hear her heart beating furiously in her chest. The sheen of sweat that covered her body chilled immediately in the night air, and she pulled the covers back up to her chin. The air around her smelled faintly of her sex, but she found the aroma comforting for the moment. Her body and spirit exhausted, Aeris dropped quickly and gracefully into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Aeris grunted and lifted the last of the huge sacks of weeds and rocks onto the compost heap. She sighed loudly, brushed her hands off on the dirty apron, and felt the heavy weariness in her bones.

_Done for today_, she thought, _not enough light left, anyway._

The sky had faded from the brilliant ruby red of sunset in to the deep navy blue of late evening. The last bits of sunlight clung to the western edges of the sky, faintly silhouetting the mountains on that side. She had spent the entire day pulling weeds and tilling the soil in the field she had found up the mountainside. Her chafed and dirty hands stung from the weed pulling, and were beginning to hurt from the chill that came with the darkening sky. The group had wanted the field to supplement their food supply, and since she was the only one with even a remotely green thumb, the task of growing the first crop had naturally fallen to her.

A little way down the hillside, she could see Cloud through the broad kitchen windows, chopping vegetables for the evening meal. He was laughing and joking with the others, who were unseen somewhere else in the expansive kitchen. She could hear none of it, but she smiled adoringly anyway, watching him and relishing the fact that he was hers.

_Well, mostly, anyway…_, she thought as she headed down towards the inn, taking off the earth-stained apron. Her mind wandered back to the previous night, when he had once again avoided making love to her.

Long after the others had gone to bed, the dancing light of the fireplace found the two of them kissing deeply on the thick rug in front of the hearth.

She had pulled her body close to him, and felt him tense up slightly as she let her tongue caress his. She could feel the moment approaching when he would start to fade and eventually disconnect. She had decided to be a bit more insistent this time. But just a little bit.

His left arm had been wrapped around her shoulders, and she reached up and took his hand in hers. She broke the kiss and put her lips next to his ear.

"Touch me, Cloud," she whispered, guiding his hand down to her eager breast, and sucked his earlobe swiftly between her lips.

He tentatively explored her flesh with his hand through the fabric of her dress and undergarment, and the rest of his body became still as he focused his attention on the gentle swell of her breast. She explored the sensitive areas of his neck and throat, sucking and biting gently, occasionally letting a deep breath out with a soft moan or whimper.

She lay on her side, writhing in pleasure, and she threw a leg across his hips, exposing a firm naked thigh to the light of the fire through the usually conservative split in her dress. She could feel his hot, slender hardness inside his trousers pressing against the delicate skin on the inside of her thigh. It called to the heat that was building in her groin. She pressed her leg against it, which drew a low groan from Cloud, in addition to a brief tightening of the hand that still caressed her breast. It sent a fire through her, and she wanted more.

Her tongue found his again, and as she kissed him she reached up to the top of her dress, and with one hand began undoing the buttons one by one, exposing her creamy skin that ached to be lit on fire by his touch. His thumb lit on her naked skin just below her collarbone and traced a path down to the edge of her bra.

At this he backed down suddenly, and withdrew from her kiss.

"I'm… I...," he looked at her seriously, "I can't…"

"Why not?" she pleaded.

"I'm… I have to get up early tomorrow," he said, dropping his gaze from hers, "I just can't, not tonight."

She began to speak words of protest, but he was already getting to his feet. She had propped herself up on one arm, using the other hand to recover her modesty and hold the top of her dress closed. She looked up at him, inspecting him.

"What's wrong, Cloud?"

He smiled warmly at her, "It's nothing, really… I just remembered that I have to head out early tomorrow, and I need to get to sleep. And so do you, if I remember correctly. You've got a big day, starting on the garden…"

It was too late. The wall had gone up. His blood was cooling.

"C'mon, let's get you to bed," he said, holding his hand out to her.

Aeris had tried to wipe the hurt expression off her face as she allowed herself to be helped up, and then buttoned up her dress again.

Aeris was drawn out of her reverie by the insistent rumble of her stomach, and she began walking around towards the front of the inn.

_Perhaps I'm rushing things too much,_ she thought,_ After all, it's only been about two weeks, hasn't it?_

Then again, Cloud had an effect on her that no other man had. She'd had boyfriends in the past, Zack being the most prominent, and dated a few times, but nothing compared to the way she desired Cloud. She wanted to abandon herself completely to his desires, to have him ravish her body, and let him take his pleasure from her. Or better yet, if she could somehow pin him urgently against the bed, and taking his shaft deep into herself, grind him into passionate oblivion.

_Goodness,_ she giggled softly into one grimy hand,_ there I go again…_

She opened the front door and, stepping into the warm common room, was greeted by the wonderful aromas of the evening meal. She might just have enough time for a quick shower…

-------------------------

After dinner, she sat on a stool in the kitchen while Cloud took his turn doing the dishes. She sat inspecting her hands, and the innumerable tiny cuts that covered her delicate fingers. The sharp grasses had definitely left their mark on her, but she figured it was too small a thing to waste a cure potion on. Her body was capable of healing far worse on its own.

Although they were alone in the kitchen, a strange silence fell between them. Aeris was so absorbed in the study of her hands that she only noticed when Cloud broke into her consciousness.

"You okay?"

"Hunh?" she started with a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh," she gave a small embarrassed smile, "Yeah, sorry."

Her reply was not convincing, and Cloud kept his gaze on her.

"No, I guess not."

"What's wrong?"

"I…" she struggled to stem the flood of things she wanted to tell him, "I guess I've been thinking a lot about…"

_Us…_

"Midgar," she finally decided.

"Midgar?"

"I grew up there, Cloud," she explained, "Despite all of the horrible days locked up at Shinra Labs, and always on the run from them in the slums, it's still my hometown. I'd like to check on it and make sure it's okay. I mean… you said there was a lot of damage, right?"

Cloud seemed to consider for a moment, and then nodded.

"Okay, we can get Cid to take us in the morning."

Aeris considered this, and then an idea struck her.

"Cloud?"

"Yes?"

"Would you hate me if I wanted to hike?"

"To _Midgar?_"

"Well, yes…," she said, "I mean, I know it's a long way, but I think it will give us time to be together."

"We're together here, aren't we?"

"Well, yes, but we're also around everyone else."

"I don't understand…"

She paused and searched for the right words.

"I remember what you said on the Highwind about everyone accepting me into part of the group, and they have. I'm just…," she paused for a breath, the words now gushing out of her, "I just feel as I haven't gotten close to _you_ yet."

Cloud looked at her seriously, not sure of what to say.

"I'm not sure if this makes sense or not," she continued, "but right now, you're still closer to everybody else than you are to me. And that's not your fault. You've fought and with them for months after I was… after I was gone. I've missed out on a lot, and although there's nothing I can do about that, I…," she struggled for the words, "Do you remember when we were on the Gondola at the Golden Saucer?"

"Of course, how could I forget?"

"I said I want to meet you. And I still want to, but I don't think it's something that's going to happen when there are other people around. I know it's silly, but I want to be closer to you than everyone else. So… I'm not feeling shut out of the group, but I'm feeling like I'm shut out from you, I guess."

Cloud was silent for a long moment.

"I'm… I'm sorry," was all he could muster.

"Look, it's really not that big a deal, but I want you to go on this journey with me. You have so many exciting stories about your times with AVALANCHE. I want to hear you tell some stories about your times with me."

"Okay," he said, reaching across the countertop and taking one of her hands in his, "we'll start packing tomorrow."

She smiled warmly at him and leaned down to kiss the back of his hand. Then thinking better of it, she got up and walked around the countertop and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a deep and grateful kiss.

"Thank you," she said.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note:

Okay, so it's been a lot longer since I last updated than I thought it would be. In any case, thank you for all your feedback (those of you that left feedback), and for those of you that didn't, please do. I promise I don't bite… much.

Also, if you were waiting for this update at all, I would like to send out a big thank you to Mirabelle, who helped me through a particularly nasty bit of writer's block, and who I would say is ultimately responsible for me being able to post this chapter.

-------------------------

Aeris watched the campfire slowly dying down after its mealtime blaze, and let her thoughts wander. Normally the log she was sitting on would have been positioned closer to the fire, but the night was warm, and her muscles still burned from the day's hike.

They had made good time that day, steadily loping down the Corel mountains and making it most of the way towards Costa del Sol. From the crest of one of the last foothills, they could see the glint of sunlight on the ocean. She guessed that they might reach Costa del Sol by early afternoon tomorrow morning.

She heard dead leaves crunching under a pair of approaching boots, and looked up to see Cloud emerging from the trees with the last of the cooking pots that he had been cleaning down by the stream. He set it down and with a grunt plunked himself heavily down on the log beside her.

She leaned in and put her head on his shoulder.

"Tired?" he asked.

"Mm."

"Me too."

She realized that she was tired, but not did not feel like going to sleep just yet. They had been on the move for more than two weeks now, and although she still enjoyed the days of walking and nights of camping, it had perhaps lost some of its luster. Normally her attention would be occupied by the newness and freshness of life on the trail, but they had reached a point where it had all become slightly ordinary and plain. She needed something else to occupy her time, but didn't know what.

The light from the fire traced the rim of Cloud's arm in an orange glow, defining the contours of his battle-hardened body in sharp contrast against the backdrop of night. She let her fingers trace along the sharp line of his tricep, and smiled softly as the gooseflesh prickled up along his entire right arm. He turned to her and smiled back.

"I know you're going to make fun of me, but I think I'm going to bed," he said.

"You're right, I _am_ going to make fun of you," Aeris paused, considering her current boredom, "but, I think I may as well join you. Not really much to do around here."

At that, her mind which had been too occupied for the past two weeks to think about much other than the trip, had an idea that was both wonderful and worrying at the same time. She and Cloud had neither the time nor the energy in the past weeks to really be intimate. They shared the same tent, occasionally held hands on the trail, and although they gave and received their share of loving kisses, it never really led anywhere. Aeris still had her need, and although she wanted to give him some time, her need refused to go away. Twice it had grown to the point where she had to take care of matters herself after she was sure he was asleep, but it became more and more frustrating to have to do it lying next to him, when all she wanted was for him to take her.

_Perhaps?_ she thought, _Perhaps he's ready now?_

She wasn't at all sure, but the spark in her had kindled, and it was she knew it would be impossible to get to sleep now. She got up, and extending her hand, helped him to his feet. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she led him towards the tent. She teetered a bit, nervously biting her lip and still holding on to him as she removed her boots, leaving them just outside the tent and stepping inside. She waited for him to do the same, and then pulled him into a deep kiss.

Her skin lit afire as he pulled her into his embrace. Her eyes closed themselves as she felt his lips part slightly. She reached up and grabbed the back of his head, her lips aching for the touch of his tongue. She shivered slightly as the heat of his tongue flirted with hers.

He stroked the long braid of her hair, caressing the silky auburn length against her back. As the desire built within her, she tilted her chin up, presenting a pristine throat for Cloud's gentle lips. They met softly at first, but gradually his mouth opened more and more, and she could feel the hot wetness of his tongue on her. She groaned slightly, and twisted her fist into the fabric of his shirt, sinking to her knees and dragging him down with her.

She shrugged out of her small red jacket, as it had quickly become to warm for her inside the tent, and continued devouring his mouth with hers. Her hand explored the shapely contours of his body, from his chest and biceps to his lower back and firm posterior.

She wanted him. She _had_ to have him. Her world swirled with a heady mixture of excitement and desire. The insistent heat at her core would not be denied this time. She pulled his shirt up, untucking it from his pants, and intending to get it up over his head in one fell swoop, but was stopped short by his powerful arms.

"Aeris," he drew away from her neck and stared deep into her eyes, smiling warmly.

"Shhh, don't say anything," she whispered, pushing him back onto the thin piece of foam they used as a mattress. She undid the buttons of her dress in a flash, and let it hang open between them as she brushed her hair out of her face and crawled on top of him. Nothing concealed her from him but her simple black bra, and panties that were already slightly damp with her need. Cloud began to protest, but she silenced him with her lips before he could get a word out.

Kissing him deeply, her fever was upon her, and she could feel the hardness of his shaft pressing against her just below her bare navel, sheathed only in the material of his pants. Her right hand dragged its way down his chest and abdomen between them and she grasped him, squeezing him slightly. Involuntarily his hips bucked once into her hand as she stroked him, and she moved to let her lips explore his exposed jugular.

"Aeris, wait…" he breathed.

"Mmm," she moaned insistently, and continued her manual ministrations. She could feel the heat of him pressing against her hand through his trousers, and it further fueled the mad blaze of her desire.

Cloud reached down and grabbed her wrist, pulling it away from his throbbing manhood, and she deftly switched her grip to grab his wrist and pin it to the mattress up above his head. She could feel the flush in her cheeks and the rush of blood in her temples as she managed to pull the hem of his shirt up with her free hand, exposing abdominals that were tense and sculptural.

"Aeris, please..." he whimpered again.

_Yes, Cloud, please,_ it thrummed in her mind, _please, please, PLEASE… More… Please give in. Give in to your want. Give in to me. Give it to me._

Raising the shirt up higher, she bent to lick the enticing rim of his left nipple. She felt a sudden pressure on her collarbone, and realized he was using his free hand to push her up off of him.

The panic building in her heart did not diminish the desire of her sex. Instead, the voice of her need trebled, maddeningly loud in her head. Self-control seemed like a distant memory. She didn't want self-control. She wanted to submit, to give in and find some ineffable explosive release.

Cloud pushed Aeris off to one side, and again, she nullified this action by pulling him along with her, locking her strong legs around his waist and threatening his shaft with her sex.

She ground her aching cleft into him, oblivious of the rough fabric that lay between their two respective tools of passion.

"Stop it, Aeris," he said, trying to back up off of her. Instead she clung to his neck and pulled herself off the bed, seeking to regain the heat of his body and perhaps slake her thirst for satisfaction.

_No, Cloud,_ her panicked mind begged, _Don't push me away again… please…_

Her body continued to assault him. He teetered precariously off balance, and she threw her weight against him, toppling back over sideways again. She landed on top of him again, but his hands were already pushing her away. She batted them away, trying to pin them down so she could have her way with him, but they kept coming.

"No, stop it, Aeris,"

"Please," she whined through a flurry of conflicting hands and arms.

"No, I can't…"

Their breathing was ragged and strained.

"Please! I want it…"

"Aeris I-"

His words were cut off as her lips found his again, but there was little there to hold on to. She reached down and began undoing his belt buckle.

"No, Aeris!"

With those damned Mako-enhanced muscles he easily overpowered her, and flung her off to the left. He stood up in one quick motion as she tumbled to the edge of the foam mattress, which suddenly provided very little protection from the hard, lumpy cold ground underneath.

She gave a shriek of pure frustration as her fists clenched involuntarily and she felt her chest hitch in a violent sob.

"God _dammit_, Cloud!"

She turned to look at him, and although her eyes were blazing accusations, they were already brimming with tears.

"Why won't you make love to me?" her voice was broken as the first tears spilled down her cheeks.

Cloud stared at her for a moment, his shocked and bewildered eyes becoming deeply apologetic, and at the same time, hopelessly defeated.

Without a word, he stepped out of the tent and into the night beyond.


	5. Chapter 5

- Chapter Five -

Aeris awoke to the sharp cry of a lark coming from a nearby bush. The bright morning light and brilliant birdsong conflicted harshly with the memories that came flooding back to her. After Cloud had left, she had felt her previous desire and passion sour into rage and frustration. All of her insecurities and emotions that had been until now been kept at bay came crashing down on her. 

And for once, she welcomed it. 

She allowed herself to feel pity, despair, and sorrow. She indulged in frustration and fury, and even allowed herself a little hatred. But eventually, the heat of her anger dissipated, and she was left sobbing quietly into her pillow, feeling unwanted and alone, until at last she fell asleep. 

But that was last night. This morning she felt… she didn't know what she felt. Numb, she supposed. She rubbed at her eyes, and breathed deeply, trying to flood her system with oxygen. Her back and hips ached where the unforgiving ground had dug into her as she slept. She sat up and began to stretch, but was stopped short as she found the bedroll next to hers empty.

_Cloud?_

If he didn't come back inside last night, where _was_ he?

Listening more carefully, she couldn't hear him bustling around the campsite, nor could she see his shadow cast against the outside of the tent. A momentary fear swept through her. They were miles from anywhere; what if something had happened?

Considering what she knew of Cloud, she was fairly certain that he could take care of himself, but she couldn't quiet the nagging in her mind. She wrapped her blanket around her shoulders to ward off the morning chill, pulled on her boots, and stepped out of the tent. 

What she saw, blinking in the bright morning light, made her stomach and heart twist with shame and regret. 

Cloud was curled up in a ball facing away from her next to the remains of the fire. His head rested on the rough, knobby log they had been sitting on the night before, which caused his neck to bend at the most uncomfortable angle she could think of, so that his left cheek was touching his left shoulder. She could see his ribcage slowly expand and contract with even, steady breaths, assuring her that he was both still alive and still asleep. He had dug their two bath towels out of their bags and used one to lie down on and the other one to cover himself with. Neither was large enough to cover his sizable frame, even curled in a ball as he was. Both towels, as well as Cloud himself, were dusty and grey with ash from the expended fire. 

Aeris sighed and looked around, relieved that he was okay, but unsure as to how to proceed with the apparent rift between them. She felt horrible about the way she had acted, but couldn't justify his actions, either, without some sort of explanation. Perhaps they would reach Costa del Sol and he could just turn back. He could give Cid a call on the PHS, and she could continue on alone. 

No, that wasn't right. It was the easy way out. It didn't actually solve anything. 

Looking over, she spied the pile of firewood they had gathered sitting obediently under the tarp. She walked over and picked up a few pieces and carried them over to the fire, grabbing the cooking pot on the way there. 

-------------------------

She had decided to let Cloud sleep as long as he needed to, as it would also give her time to collect her thoughts, and to prepare breakfast. She had built up the fire again, making sure to extend it away from Cloud, so that a stray ember would not alight on the towels and turn Cloud into a giant flambé. 

She had to suppress a giggle at this thought, and instead focused her attention on stirring the pot. The camp food they had brought with them were basically pre-cooked meals sealed inside a sturdy pouch, all they needed to do to prepare them was to drop the entire pouch into a pot of boiling water for a few minutes. Most of the meals were pretty drab, but the one she had chosen this morning was actually pretty good. It was like a thick, pasty stew, with hearty chunks of meat and vegetables. As she stirred the boiling pot with the two pouches swirling in it, a knot in the firewood gave a sudden explosive pop, and Cloud started awake.

He cracked an eye open and shielded his eyes with his hand. He looked at her over the fire and cooking pot, unsure of what to think. 

"Should be ready any minute," she said softly, choosing a safe topic. 

Groggily he pushed himself into a sitting position and surveyed his surroundings, his movements obviously betraying a night of bad rest resulting in painful and stiff muscles. After a few minutes of staring at the flames licking at the bottom of the pot and mulling over his thoughts, Aeris watched him turn his head suddenly to the left, and immediately give a sharp gasp and winced painfully. 

After a brief pause, she said, "Here, let me…"

She felt partially responsible for what she thought to be a most painful crick in the neck, and she supposed it was just in her blood to help people in need. The Cetra part of her heritage, seated deep within her being, would not let Cloud's pain go unaided. 

Walking around behind him, she crouched and placed her hands gingerly at the base of his neck. Closing her eyes, she reached out to him with her mind, and could feel the thrumming pulse of his life energy. It swam in her mind's eye like a bright green miasma that vaguely resembled Cloud.

_His portion of the Lifestream,_ she thought. 

She found the hot, white knot of pain, and covering it with her hand, poured her energy into it. She felt it resist, tense, and then slowly dissipate. She opened her eyes. Cloud's shoulders had visibly relaxed, and the wince of pain was gone.

"Thanks," he mumbled, avoiding her gaze. 

She tried brushing some of the ash off his back and shoulders. It didn't really work.

"Cloud, you're totally covered with ash. Go shake out your clothes and brush yourself off, and by the time you get back, the food will be ready."

Saying nothing, Cloud stiffly got to his feet, sending showers of ash floating down in the breeze, and stretched. After that he wandered off behind some foliage to presumably follow her instruction, and perhaps do his morning necessary. She watched him disappear into the bushes, and then busied herself with getting out the plates and silverware.

When he came back, he was only marginally less ashy, but it seemed he had made a good effort at it. She handed him a plate with a steaming hot pouch on it, followed by a fork. He plunked himself down on the log that had served him as a pillow the previous night, and Aeris summoned up her courage and sat down next to him. 

Aeris gingerly opened the steaming pouch with the tips of her fingers, while trying to ignore the silence that had settled around her and Cloud like a heavy quilt. Despite the queasy, sick feeling in her stomach, Aeris forced herself to eat. She barely even tasted the food. 

The brutal silence carried on.

Perhaps Cloud _would_ return to Nibelheim once they reached Costa del Sol. And _then_ what? Was there still a reason for them to be together? She knew she couldn't stay in this relationship if it continued this way. Last night had been proof of that. She felt the hot flush of shame on her skin again. She had lost control and nearly taken him by force. What would have happened if he hadn't finally overpowered her and thrown her off?

The thought quivered at the edge of her consciousness, and she refused to really give it attention. But the idea scared her nonetheless. The tears started welling in her eyes, and she defiantly shoved another piece of food in her mouth. The goal was to choke down the food in order to prevent a horrific sob from bursting from her lungs. It was a bit like trying to swallow a cannonball, but she managed it.

At the same time, she thought that it wasn't _just_ her fault. For reasons she couldn't understand, Cloud would shrink away from her whenever she wanted to be intimate. It was just so... so backwards! Had she really come all this way, and spent all this time with Cloud only to realize that it ultimately wouldn't work between them?

_Perhaps,_ she finally admitted to herself, and her heart twinged.

_But I'm not giving up just yet._

"Cloud?"

He didn't look up or really acknowledge her, but rather stopped picking at his food and set his fork down. 

"Cloud, I'm…" she halted, unsure of how to proceed, "I'm sorry I yelled at you last night."

He glanced at her, and then quickly returned to studying his plate once he met her piercing green eyes. Aeris struggled on, forcing the words out of her mouth one at a time, like heavy stones.

"But I want you to know that I'm very confused as to where we are…"

Still he said nothing.

"I want to be close to you. I want to be intimate with you, both emotionally and physically, but every time I try, you…" she panned around in her mind for the right words, "You retreat. You close up, and you leave me, and it breaks my heart. I'm sorry if I'm coming on too strong for you, but I really don't think I am. I mean, I may not appear to be the most sexual person on the planet, but for whatever reason, you drive me crazy in ways that I don't fully understand"

He shifted slightly, but remained silent. 

"Cloud, I need you to open up to me. Please. One way or the other," she reached over and turned his face towards her, forcing her green gaze upon him, their faces only inches apart, "Tell me what's keeping you from me, or stop running from me."

His eyes flicked nervously between each of hers. He was obviously struggling with something internally.

Her voice became soft again.

"Cloud, please," she whispered, "Talk to me."

He sucked in breath and opened his mouth, but the words caught in his throat. She gently cupped his cheek in the palm of her hand, finally feeling like they were getting somewhere.

"Tell me, Cloud, it's okay."

"It's," he said, "It's embarrassing, I guess."

She waited patiently, giving him the time he needed.

"I've never really told anyone, I just… I guess I just let them make up their own minds. But the truth is" he sighed heavily "The truth is that I've, I've never really… been with anyone."

For a few moments, Aeris's mind refused to fully compute what she had heard. Then it dawned on her, her mind reeling, and even then she found it hard to believe. 

"You've never…" she halted again, astounded at what she was about to say, "_been_ with anyone? Intimately?"

Cloud shook his head seriously. 

"But you must've… you were in the Shinra military! You must've gone out drinking with the guys! I mean, you identified the HoneyBee Inn for what it was easily enough…" she had a hard time believing that Cloud could be so… so purely innocent.

"I was always too obsessed with making it into SOLDIER, and making it to First-Class to really spend any time having… er, fun," Cloud blushed slightly. 

Aeris turned this over in her mind, and she came to realize that although it did explain a lot of Cloud's actions, it didn't explain everything.

"So then why draw away from me all the time? You _know_ I'm up for it, Cloud," she couldn't help grinning a little. 

"I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Of myself. Of what I'm capable of."

"I don't understand," she said. 

Cloud pursed his lips and cast his eyes about for a moment, then locked his gaze with hers again. 

"My body was treated with Mako energy to make me into a super-soldier, and then injected with Jenova cells in Hojo's mad experiments. On top of that, I fell into the Lifestream, and only barely made it out alive," he paused for a breath, "I don't know how my body is going to react with all that stuff when I get into… a situation like… like that."

"How do you mean?"

"I… I don't wanna hurt you, Aeris,"

Suddenly she understood. She had seen him in battle. He could do terrible, terrible things when the battle-haze dropped over him. And whenever she'd heard him describe things afterward, they were always cold and detached. Matter-of-fact. It was as if, in the heat of battle, someone, _something_ else took over for Cloud, and it was from this detachment that Cloud's tremendous power and ability flowed. She knew, if that something seized him in the heat of passion, she could do nothing to stop it, regardless of whether its actions were desirable or not. 

She realized now what a fine line she had been walking with Cloud. His inexperience was not just due to personal discomfort and insecurities, but also due to the untested nature of his sexuality. There was no telling what might happen if Cloud were to submit to his slightly more animal desires.

"Oh, Cloud," she pulled him tightly against her, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"I didn't tell you because I thought I might lose you," he said, his voice broken with emotion, "I didn't want to scare you off, because I don't think I could go on if I had to lose you twice. But then, when I thought I might lose you if I _didn't_ tell you…"

To her surprise, Cloud's body began shuddering slightly in her arms. She couldn't see his face, but felt his breath come in jagged gasps against her neck.

"Shhh… it's okay, Cloud,"

His tears were hot against her skin, and she cradled his head between her chin and her collarbone as the sobs, held so long at bay, shook through is body like a minor earthquake. She ran her hands through his spiky hair and softly kissed his head.

"It's okay, Cloud. I'm not going anywhere without you."


	6. Chapter 6

- Chapter Six -

She heard Cloud approach from behind her as she hunkered at the edge of the stream, washing the dishes from their breakfast and the night before. It had taken him a while to calm down, and even then, she thought it best to give him some time to himself. It seemed to have done him some good, as the lines of fear and worry that had creased his brow this morning had gone, and he looked more like the Cloud she had fallen in love with.

His eyes flicked briefly and easily up to hers as he hunkered next to her, picking up the dishtowel and beginning to dry the dishes she had already finished washing.

"Feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I am,"

The silence that settled between them this time was not awkward and dividing, but smooth and comforting.

"I… I don't really know how to thank you," he said.

"Well," Aeris began, rinsing out the last of the bowls, "we're not quite out of the woods quite yet. I'm trying to figure out a way that we can work through this, and I'm guessing it's not going to be as simple as taking it slow."

Cloud gently put the pot down and picked up the next.

"No, probably not," he said.

The problem was that neither she nor Cloud felt safe exploring each other sexually, but the desire would not go away. Despite feeling her heart flutter every time she imagined of Cloud in the throes of ecstasy, she tried to think of things as objectively as possible. If only she knew how Cloud would react…

"Cloud?" she asked suddenly, turning towards him, "Do you ever… take care of yourself?"

Cloud looked up, puzzled.

"Y'know, _manually_?" Aeris held up her hand and mimed the grotesque motion that she'd seen the boys in Midgar perform in lewd conversation.

"Oh!" understanding dawned on Cloud, and he grinned sheepishly, "Um… well, I used to…"

"Used to? Not anymore?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Well, I kind of…," Cloud's voice faltered.

"I mean, I don't want you to think that I'm judging you; I'm not. I'm pretty sure that most people do it anyway."

Cloud seemed to study the mud and rocks between his boots for a bit poking them with a stick before finding his voice again.

"Do you?"

The question caught Aeris entirely by surprise, and she found herself smiling broadly, her cheeks painted by a slight blush.

"That's a fair enough question," she said, " and I'd have to say that yes, I do 'take care of myself' from time to time."

Cloud looked up at her, grinning like a schoolboy.

"But _I'm_ not the one with personal troubles," she continued, still smiling, "so I don't know why we're talking about me. So tell me: why aren't you taking matters into your own hands anymore?"

"I uh…, I guess you could say that there… there was an 'incident.'"

She paused, turning towards him and waiting for him to continue.

"It was a few days before I met up with Tifa in Midgar," he stared absently at the pot in his hand, "A few days after Zack… was killed. I was confused, _very_ confused, and very stressed out. So I thought it might help me relax a bit."

Cloud's eyes were far away in that distant place in his past that he had tried so hard to forget.

"Before… Hojo," he shuddered slightly, "Before Hojo I sometimes used to stroke myself off in order to help me sleep. And after everything that happened, I definitely had trouble sleeping. So that night I started getting into it, and…"

Cloud trailed off, his eyes blank with recollection.

"Cloud?"

"I don't… I don't really remember what happened. I can only remember a vague feeling… a sense of… of taint. Like the taste of copper on your tongue, that won't go away. I guess it was _his_ voice that I heard in my head, shortly before I blacked out," he sighed and finally let go of the stick, leaving a chicken scratch pattern in the mud between his knees, "I just remember waking up hours later in an enormous amount of pain. I was far from the inn where I had gone to sleep, and the area around me was destroyed. I was bleeding in several places, and I may have had a few cracked ribs. I was filthy, my clothing torn up, and I could barely walk on my twisted ankle."

Aeris stared in horror as he recounted the experience with detached nonchalance, her lips pressed together in a tightly concerned line.

"I got away from there as fast as possible. I still don't know if I'd hurt anyone, or if anyone saw me. I guess it would be the first time… the first time he was in my head… in control."

"What did he say?" Aeris finally asked.

"Hm?"

"You said you heard his voice before you blacked out… what did he say?"

Cloud sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I still don't remember… I just remember that it was mocking. You know how Sephiroth works: he thrives on hate, humiliation and pain, so that's my best guess."

Aeris reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. He looked up at her and smiled gently. She once again found herself amazed at how much he had grown since the Fall of Meteor. The boy who had fallen through her church roof would have taken weeks to recover from a conversation like this. Instead, the man before her stood up, and helped her to her feet.

"C'mon, we should get moving, the day is getting hot, and we still have a ways to go before we reach Costa del Sol."

She smiled warmly and kissed him softly on the lips.

"True, but it's all downhill from here."

--

Aeris tried to be as quiet and still as possible as her muscles went rigid and her toes curled. She keep the cry in her throat from bursting forth, and made sure that she slowly relaxed back onto her pillow, as opposed to collapsing suddenly when it was over. As such, her climax felt hollow and unfulfilling, in addition to solitary.

As her heart rate came down from its thundering and her breathing slowed, she looked over at Cloud, who was, of course, still sound asleep.

_I guess I did okay,_ she thought_, he used to wake up for everything and anything._

Then again, there was a lot of white noise to conceal her midnight pleasures: the thrum of the water against the ship's hull, and the whine of the engines pushing them further towards Midgar. Their bunk on the ferry from Costa del Sol to Kalm was small, and would have been uncomfortable for the two of them, but after weeks on the trail, anything resembling a real bed seemed like a luxury.

She felt the heat passing from her body, and tucked herself back under the blankets. Staring at the ceiling in frustration, she tried once more to put her mind to figuring a way around their problem. She knew she couldn't just keep taking matters into her own hands. Each time her climax came, it seemed diminished and plain. Despite her best intentions, she knew there would come a time where she might resent Cloud for not granting her the release she needed, regardless of his personal problems.

She understood better now why he kept his distance, and agreed with him wholeheartedly for doing so, but at the same time he had this intoxicating effect on her, that just released all of her sensuousness and yearning.

_Oh, be honest, girl, _she chided herself_, he turns you on like no tomorrow._

She didn't really know why; aside from the way he moved, or the slow, creamy cadence of his voice that set her heart on edge. Or the rough, invincible quality of his hands. She just knew that every time she looked into those blazing blue eyes, a part of her melted… and ached to be filled.

They needed to find a way to test him, but at this point Cloud was so afraid of his own climax that reaching it was a near impossibility. Even if he could be assured of her (and his) safety, he was simply terrified of that _other_ taking over again. And there were no guarantees that it wouldn't happen again. If only she could figure out a way to take that out of the equation, solving their coital problems would be easy.

_But it's not easy,_ she thought, _nowhere near easy…_

With a heavy sigh, she rolled over, nuzzling against Cloud's shoulder and breathing in his deep aroma before her eyelids slide slowly closed, and she allowed herself to sleep.

--

She could feel Cloud's eyes on her as she descended between the sharp and jagged rock faces. He had already reached the bottom, and was serving as a second pair of eyes for her, scouring the rock face for handholds and ledges. Having him watching her this closely was making it difficult to concentrate. Whereas he had descended roughly, clomping and scrambling down the small chute onto the plains below, relying on his strength and reflexes to guide him, she was depending on her agility and balance, instead.

They had lowered their packs on ropes ahead of them, and so she had both hands and feet free to cling to the rocks. However, she needed the added mobility, so she had to hike her dress up rather higher than she would have had there been anyone else within miles. Her long, milky thigh showed lewdly through the slit in her dress, and who knew what else Cloud could see from down below. It made it very difficult to focus her attention on shifting her weight smoothly and avoid tumbling down the brittle rock face. In too many places already she had noticed where the rock had broken away, showing bright new surfaces in contrast to the wind-weathered older stone.

"You big oaf," she called down at him, "You broke most of the handholds off when you came barreling down this way!"

"Sorry, next time I'll throw you down first, and then take my time coming after you."

Despite her strained and contorted position, she managed to throw him a dirty look over her shoulder.

"If you move towards your left, there's a ledge that looks like it leads quite a ways down. I think if you follow that, you should be able to jump the rest of the way."

She reached out with her toes, and found Cloud's ledge. Even more satisfactorily, she found that it would hold her weight, even if it was only wide enough for the balls of her feet. She quickly sidled along, finding handholds along the way, and eventually ran out of space. Cloud stood a few feet behind her.

Looking down she could see that she was close enough to the ground that she could probably take a jump down and still be okay, but there wasn't really a good landing zone. The ground below her was littered with rocks and slippery gravel; a good recipe for a twisted ankle. Thinking better of it, she found a handhold down between her knees, and slid her left leg down past the ledge. Pressing her hands flat on the ledge on either side of her, she paused momentarily to reflect on what a wonderful view Cloud must be getting of her posterior before she gracefully lowered herself the rest of the way down, and landed at the bottom of the cliff with a soft puff of dust.

Indeed, she thought Cloud might have been blushing as she turned to face him and picked up her pack.

She decided to ignore it. For now.

"So what happened then?" she asked.

"Well, when I woke up at Mideel, it was strange, because on top of finding myself in a place where I'd never been before, with no memory of how I got there, it just felt like my head was in high gear. My head was clear, and I mean _really_ clear for the first time that I could remember, and I had to do a lot of thinking to realize how everything had changed. It felt wonderful and devastating at the same time. Devastating because I had to reevaluate everything I had experienced since my escape from Hojo's lab, and wonderful because… because I wasn't a puppet anymore."

Aeris took all of this in as they continued their way across the dusty plains.

"I felt you, then. In the Lifestream. You and Tifa," she said.

Cloud didn't say anything.

"I wanted to help, but you were walled off from me. I couldn't reach you."

"Even if you could have reached us," Cloud's voice had taken on that far-off quality again, "I doubt there would have been anything you could have done. It was something I had to work through myself."

Aeris felt a twinge of envy at the thought that Tifa had been there for Cloud when she couldn't. It was really nothing more than the relapse of an old habit, probably caused by all of her current insecurities, and she instantly dismissed it from her mind. There was something else nagging at her mind.

Hearing Cloud's story, she had felt a flag go up in her mind, but couldn't identify what it was for. She felt as if she had missed something important and it was staring her in the face, without her seeing it. She shuffled through her thoughts manically, trying to find something significant in Cloud's story, letting Cloud thread their way through the rocky terrain. When he stopped, she almost ran into the back of him.

"Look," he said.

They had come to the top of the next ridge, and the wind blew the dust clouds clear for a moment. Aeris saw the blasted city of Midgar, splayed out below her in every gory detail. The outer barrier had cracked and, in some places, been torn completely asunder. The monolithic Shinra tower stood with gaping wounds, all of the windows having been blasted out and dark. In addition to Sector Seven, two additional plates had buckled under the onslaught of Meteor.

"Oh, God," she breathed, bringing her hands to her mouth.

It took her a moment to break herself from the terror that threatened to grip her heart. She forced herself to remember that the worst of the tragedy was already several months in the past.

"How many died?" she asked Cloud.

"Not as many as you would think," Cloud looked at her seriously, "Barret and Reeve did a really good job of making sure everyone was safe as safe as possible. Things aren't as bad as they look."

He pointed off to the far left edge of the city, where she could see small clusters of buildings spilling out into the desert through a gaping hole in the barrier wall. Further out, she could see a half dozen windmills turning in the strong desert wind.

"_Really?_" she smiled broadly, "Windmills? You mean no mako?"

"No, Shinra's done for. The hardest part, from what I hear, has been getting fresh water. But I haven't been here since I found you again in Kalm, so they may have already figured out how to supply everyone easily by now."

Cloud held out his hand, and she took it eagerly, allowing him to lead her further down the slope and towards the reborn city of Midgar.


	7. Chapter 7

- Chapter Seven -

Night had fallen before they had reached the outskirts of the town spilling out of the borders of Midgar, and the rocky terrain had really exhausted the both of them. Even though they had been descending the very gradual slope into the basin of Midgar, the miles took their toll.

She could feel the impact of every footstep shoot up the bones in her legs, and settle into the increasingly painful spot in the small of her back. Everything from the waist down was in pain, and everything above the waist felt heavy and slow. The dust was by far the worst, though. Her eyes were red and irritated, and her throat raw and dry. Cloud was no better. Perhaps he was not as sore as she was, but he certainly looked as bad. Both of their faces were filthy with the dust that continually blew around them as they traveled, all she wanted now was a hot shower, a quick meal, and then sleep.

She was eternally grateful when they shuffled into the lobby of a ramshackle inn and out of the wind and dust.

"I'm sorry," said the owner, "but since we're still filled up with all the people that lost their homes from the Meteor incident, the only room I have available is the suite."

Cloud grunted at this, usually preferring to be frugal, but neither of them felt like trudging to find another inn, that may or may not have an available room, or better pricing. Reluctantly, he paid and ordered a meal to be brought up to their room.

-.-

Aeris had finished her shower, and was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing the complimentary bathrobe and brushing the tangles out of her hair while it was still wet. The food had arrived, and Cloud stood at the window, surveying the darkened cityscape while munching on half a sandwich.

"Shower's all yours," she said softly.

Cloud smiled at her over his shoulder and finished the last bite of his sandwich.

"Do you want to visit the church first tomorrow? Or go straight to Elmyra's house?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess I'll leave it up to you."

Cloud walked over and grabbed a towel from the rack before walking into the bathroom.

"Don't take too long,"she threatened, "there might not be any food for you when you get out."

He threw her a daring wink just before he shut the door to the bathroom.

Aeris put down the hairbrush, and examined the rest of the sandwiches that were neatly arranged on the platter that room service had brought them. Selecting one, she unceremoniously stuffed it into her mouth, chewing enthusiastically until it had disappeared.

She sat back and began the arduous task of brading her hair before it dried completely and became unmanageable. She reflected on the day, and tried once again to figure out what it was about Cloud's story that made the alarm bells go off in her head.

_...because I wasn't a puppet anymore._

That was what he said. Suddenly it struck her that if he wasn't Sephiroth's puppet anymore, then Sephiroth was no longer in his head, and couldn't take hold of Cloud's sexuality, using it to damage and humiliate him. Theoretically, the only thing holding him back now was his past fear of his sexuality.

Aeris finished her hair and picked up another sandwich.

_How do I get around that, though?_

She munched her sandwich thoughtfully, staring out of the darkened window.

-.-

"You ready for this?" Cloud asked.

"Ready as I'm gonna be...," she sighed.

Cloud gently pushed the door to the church open, and the hinges sang in a loud, staccato creak. Aeris stepped tentatively into the half-gloom, all of her senses cranked up high. The smell was immediately familiar and inspired a flash flood of memories. She paused to let her eyes adjust to the shadows, even though her ears told her that the church was empty. After a moment, she walked up the aisle, stepping over the pews and broken glass that had been blown about by Meteor. Where the nave met the transept up ahead, she could see that the hole in the floor was still (mercifully) covered with a thick carpet of flowers and showered in a puddle of brilliant light.

The toes of her boots stopped on the wooden floorboards just shy of the living red earth.

"They're beautiful, Aeris," she heard Cloud say behind her.

Aeris turned towards him and gave him a smile. He stepped up next to her.

"I guess they didn't need me to care for them after all," she said, crouching down and running her fingertips along one of the pristine white petals.

"Maybe," he stepped up next to her, "but that doesn't mean they don't _want_ you to."

Her smiled broadened and as she ran her finger around the rim of another flower, an idea struck her like a freight train.

_What if...?_

The entire plan clicked into place in her mind all at once. It was brilliant. It all made sense. Although... it _was_ a bit of a gamble... it was possibly gambling her life.

She decided that it was worth the risk.

"Cloud?"

"Yes?"

"You know what I've just figured out?"

"What?"

She reached down and plucked one of the bright yellow flowers from the earth, standing to face him.

"I think I've figured out how to heal you."

Cloud raised an eyebrow.

"Heal me?"

"Your problems... being intimate?" Aeris's voice was a soft croon as she moved closer to him, holding the flower between them.

She held Cloud's eyes with hers, and when he didn't say anything, she continued.

"Do you remember when I told you that this was a sacred place?"

"How could I forget?" Cloud glanced at the familiar hole in the ceiling.

"The flowers grow here because the Lifestream is so close to the surface," she pressed her face into the delicate blossom, inhaling its gentle air, "They _contain_ Lifestream."

Cloud's eyes were locked on her, hanging on her every word. She plucked one of the petals from the flower and held it to the light. It seemed to catch the light and hold it in its translucent glow.

"They can heal you; they can _purify you_," her voice was a sultry whisper.

She could see that he understood and feel the sudden tension in him now. She could almost touch the electrical crackle of force that was running through his body.

"Eat this," she said, placing the flower petal gently on his tongue, her face inches from his.

He chewed slowly and deliberately, and swallowed, closing his eyes. His eyes remained closed, and he stood still, presumably looking into deep into himself. _Turning the inner eye,_ the Ancients would have called it. She watched him closely, anxiously biting her lower lip and feeling her blood throb in her veins with each fevered beat of her heart.

When he finally opened his eyes, his expression was blank and stony.

"He's gone," was all he said.

-.-

There was a moment where all Aeris could do was lose herself in those endless blue eyes of his, drowning in the soft blue sparks of mako. Then he leaned in close to her and pressed his lips to hers. The heat radiating from his body was immense, but she abandoned herself to fry in that heat as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and lost herself in his kiss.

His hungry mouth devoured her lips, as he pulled her body sharply against his. She dug her free hand into the mass of hair at the base of his neck, pulling his lips and his lovely tongue fiercely to her. She could feel his manhood growing hard underneath his trousers and pressing against her body just beneath her navel. His hands slid down her back and sides, exploring her body through the soft fabric of her dress. They slid under the small red jacket she wore and she could feel his needy fingertips on the bare skin of her shoulder blades. She moaned into his kiss, pushing her body more firmly against his.

She realized he was advancing on her, pushing her back, and she retreated with him until her back thudded softly against one of the columns that held up the tall ceiling of the church. Up above them, the roof shuddered and gave an ominous groan, but the two of them were much too occupied to notice.

His lips and tongue found the sensitive spot just south of her jaw line, leaving hot kisses on the skin of her neck and throat, and pressing her firmly back against the column.

_Oh my God...,_ was all she could think.

More. She wanted more. She wanted all of him, and she could feel the moisture building between her legs as his hands slid down her back. She dropped the flower out of the need to pull him closer against her, as if trying to meld their bodies into one writhing, groaning form.

Aeris felt his hands grab the collar of the small red jacket and slide it back down off her shoulders. Gasping for breath, she had a moment of clarity as she stared up through the hole in the ceiling, his eager mouth still exploring her neck and throat. She could see where this was heading, and did she really want them to do this? Here? In a church?

She felt his teeth drag along her collarbone, and instantly her answer came.

_Oh god, Yes..._ came a voice from somewhere deep inside of her, as the red jacket hit the floor.

She felt herself lifted slightly as one of his strong hands cupped her backside. In response, she kicked a leg out of her dress and wrapped it tightly around him, pulling his hardness tighter against her. She could feel it pulse and twitch against her body, even through the several layers of fabric that still separated them. Seeking to rectify that, she slid her hands under his shirt and pulled it over his spiky head. He, in turn, fumbled awkwardly with the buttons to her dress, eventually managing to undo all of them so that it hung open between them. His magnificent torso was bare to the waist, and she watched his eyes devour her body, covered only by her modest bra and panties.

He pulled her roughly against him again, his hand slid roughly up to her breast, grasping it and making her cry out in her exquisite need. Her hand immediately went to meet his, momentarily quieting its need.

"Gently," she breathed into his ear, and guided his hand with hers, rubbing softly through the fabric of her bra. He moaned audibly when she sucked his earlobe into her mouth. Gasping and groaning, he pushed against her, pinning her to the ancient timbers of the pillar. He had raised her enough so that the fabric covering his hardness pressed against the damp fabric of her underwear. His fingers lit her skin on fire as they explored her body, and in return, she dragged her fingernails across his naked back, pushing her sex against him.

His muscles went rigid, and his breathing quickened into sharp cries of release. She could feel his hardness pulse against her cleft with each beat of his passion. She clutched him tightly to her as he groaned his climax into the nape of her neck.

She admitted to herself that in the heat of the moment, she had forgotten how inexperienced Cloud was as a lover, and had not anticipated the quickness of his release. She should have known better, she thought.

"I'm," Cloud struggled to regain his breath, "I'm sorry."

His face was flushed with embarrassment and spent passion.

"Shh, it's okay, Cloud. Don't worry about it. It happens to everybody after a dry spell."

She kissed him softly on the brow in an effort to soothe his bruised ego, holding him tight, and trying to tame the savage beast that now beat steadily in her loins. Slowly, her blood started to cool as their breathing evened out.

Cloud suddenly pulled back and stared at her, all the embarrassment gone from his face.

"Don't think that this means that I'm done with you," he said, smirking.

To her surprise, he kissed her deeply and slid the straps of her dress down off her shoulders, which caused it to crumple on the floor around her boots. The sudden cool rush of air on her exposed skin caused her to gasp, and Cloud's lips, momentarily deprived of her own, instantly found her sensitive jugular. Unable to think or move, she let his mouth devour her, and moaned gently as his kisses trailed down past her collarbone. He explored her breasts gently, tentatively, devoting ample and equal time to each one, sliding the straps of her bra from her shoulders and freeing them from their confines. Her nipple buzzed with delight as he took it gently into his mouth.

He continued moving further south, leaving a hot trail of kisses across her abdomen. He kissed her hips, her stomach, her thighs, dropping to his knees in the process.

She felt exposed and vulnerable in the large open space of the church, her fair skin contrasting sharply with the shadows of the church interior, but the feeling of vulnerability only caused her to be further aroused. She briefly wondered what might happen if someone were to peek their head in through the half-open door.

She felt Cloud's fingers slide inside the waistband of her panties, beginning to tug them down, and then stop suddenly. Looking down, she saw his dilemma. Her boots. She smiled softly, and tried not to laugh as he inexpertly untied her laces and attempted to tug the stubborn boots from her feet. She had to hold on to the column in order to keep from being thrown to the ground.

He managed to get her right boot off, and then had to struggle with her sock. His awkward movements and frustrations with her clothing finally won over. He smiled abashedly up at her, embarrassment written boldly on his face.

"I guess I'm not doing this right, huh?"

His innocence and inexperience would have been frustrating if they hadn't been so adorable.

"Don't worry so much about doing it _right_... just do it, and I'll let you know what feels good."

He looked up at her a moment longer, as if verifying her sincerity, and then set to work on the other boot. His touch was more gentle and sensitive this time, caressing her skin and supporting her leg as the remaining boot and sock were stripped away from her.

In a gesture of supreme worship, Cloud gently took her naked foot in his hand, and kissed it. Soft, tender kisses that made her stomach flutter. They approached her ankle, and made their way up to her calf. The heat of his breath and the tickle of his unruly hair on her skin was maddening. She wanted him to take her, but didn't know if he had recovered from his earlier climax yet. His lips and tongue reached her knee, and began the long and agonizing avenue up her inner thigh.

She stood in awe, leaning heavily back against the column, as he stared deeply into her eyes, tenderly pulling the last shred of clothing from her body.

She felt herself gasp and arch her back against the pillar as she felt his mouth on her. Surprised and delighted at his initiative, she threaded her fingers into his hair, and parted her legs slightly for him. His lips explored her damp cleft, and his fingertips gently stroked her thighs. She could only guess what kind of third- or fourth-hand advice he had received (overheard?) in the military about pleasing a woman orally, but she gently guided him with her hands and her words.

His enthusiasm and eagerness made him a fast learner, and soon she was moaning and whining her assent and struggling to remain standing. She was balanced on one foot now, her other thigh thrown obscenely over his bare shoulder and curling around him. His heavenly lips and tongue gave love and affection to those parts of her that had been so long neglected, and every time she felt him graze her little nub of fire, she twitched sharply against the column.

Her world spun, her face flushed darkly with passion as he continued his ministrations.

"Ohhh, god, Cloud...," she whined, and found herself digging well-manicured fingernails into his shoulder.

_Enough._

Not only could she not take much more of this, but she could barely stand up anymore, pillar or no pillar.

Gently pulling him up from his knees, she pressed her forehead against his and stared directly into his eyes, her breath still running away with her.

"How'd I do?"

She fought to suppress a giggle, "You did fine."

_But if he thinks he can play like a big boy, _she thought, _then he's got another thing coming._

She attempted to put a seductive twinkle in her eye, and as she reached down into his pants to grasp his manhood, put on her best temptress-grin. The look on his face said that she was successful.

She lowered them both to the floorboards, and pushed him onto his back, taking control back from him. She unbuckled his belt as she explored his neck and throat with her lips. She felt the pure life of him react to her touch, and reveled in it. She slid his pants down with his boxers, exposing his shaft to her sight for the first time.

It was tall and strong and beautiful. It lolled slightly to one side, still not entirely erect.

Aeris took it in her hand, enjoying Cloud's shudder of pleasure as she stroked it. She looked up at him for another round of seductive eye contact.

_You have no idea what's in store, do you, Cloud?_

Without warning, she took his length into her mouth, tasting the salty and bitter remnants of his earlier climax on his skin. Cloud groaned loudly, echoing his pleasure off the tall ceilings. She felt the throb and the pulse of his head against her tongue. His hips bucked involuntarily, threatening to push him deeper into her throat, but she stayed his need with a hand wrapped around the base of his shaft.

She felt his tool grow stronger in her mouth as she sucked him, the hot blood flooding towards the tip. She looked up at him through the soft curtain of her bangs. He was a picture of ecstasy, writhing and contorted in his desire. His gasps for breath and inarticulate vocalizations corresponding precisely to the movements of her lips and tongue. She could taste the minute spurts of fresh seed leaking from the tip of his shaft.

He was ready.

She released him from her mouth and moved up to straddle him. She barely gave him time to recover before she positioned him at the entrance to her sex and dropped her weight down on him.

Her cry of pain cut harshly through the noises of heat and desire that had populated the church before that instant. Her eyes were wrenched shut in a contortion of anguish, tears already beginning to leak from their corners. Cloud instantly went still.

"Aeris?" he asked, "what's wrong?"

"Stupid," she muttered through clenched teeth, her voice choked with pain.

"Aeris...," he was too terrified to speak or move.

"Not you... me," she finally managed through the sharp pain in her abdomen. She could feel his girth throb within her with each frantic beat of his heart. And with each pulse, the strained walls of her sex threatened to ratchet painfully tighter.

"Aeris, what's wrong?" he repeated, genuine terror plain in his voice.

She cracked an eye open at him, attempting a grimaced smile.

"It's just that I... haven't done this in a while, and it's not used to... it hurts."

Cloud instantly started to withdraw.

"No Cloud, don't. It only hurts at first... we just have to go slow," she leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the lips.

They began a slow, rocking rhythm. Aeris focused on her breathing and relaxing the muscles that lined the walls of her cleft. The pain slowly gave way to a slightly numb kind of warmth as she became accustomed to his girth. As the warmth built once again into a damp heat, and then a wet fire, she ground her hips into him. Her moans became less strained and more yearning. He massaged her breasts as she rode him, lost in her own oblivion.

Their breathing had picked up, coming in short gasps and groans. She felt his hands cup her buttocks as she bucked her hips into him over and over again, feeling his length fill her up and set her entire body on fire. She clutched at him as they picked up their pace, stray strands of her hair clinging to her sweaty skin. His face was a blush of passion and excitement; his naked torso writhed beneath her.

With each thrust of his hips, she felt the head of his tool rub against the spot inside her slit that ached for release. She kissed him roughly, further increasing their pace. Her need bloomed and trebled. His hands pulled her against him with each thrust, rubbing the delicate bud of her passion against his pelvis before retreating again.

She felt it building in her, and was only dimly aware of their wails of desire as she gave in more and more to her need.  
"Mmm, yes! Harder, Cloud...," she panted.

In response, he rolled over on top of her, thrusting his hips into her harder and faster than before. His shaft slid deeper into her, lighting nerves on fire that had heretofore been dormant. A few more seconds of his desperate thrusting, and that was all it took.

Her climax rolled over her like a wave. She felt her toes curl, the rush of blood becoming deafening in her ears, and her legs wrap around Cloud's waist. Her hips bucked into him uncontrollably, and her breath was pushed violently out of her lungs in an aching wail. She clutched him desparately, pulling herself off the floor, her world exploding in a paroxysm of pleasure.

As she came, she felt him tense and grip her as tightly as she was gripping him. His shaft pulsed deep within her as he found his release. In her haze of passion, she found herself biting his shoulder, and managed to stop herself just shy of breaking the skin.

Gradually, Cloud's climax receded, and her lungs started admitting air again. They collapsed together in a heap on the ancient floorboards.

They lay that way for a while, and she relished the feel of him going soft while still deep within her folds. Her entire body buzzed with pleasure and satisfaction. She smiled at him softly, stroking his spiky hair as it lay on her heaving chest.

"How did you know?" he managed finally, looking up at her.

"How did I know what?"

"About the flower..."

"Oh," she blushed, "I didn't."

"What?" he looked up at her.

"I just figured out that ever since your episode in the Lifestream, Sephiroth wasn't a part of you anymore. But you were too scared to masturbate again, so you never realized that you were free in that respect, as well..."

"So the flower petal..."

"Did nothing," Aeris finished, "You were fine all along, the flower petal was just a trigger."

"But you didn't know for sure?"

Aeris shifted slightly under the steady, concerned gaze of those two brilliant mako orbs.

"... No,"

"Aeris...,"

"I thought about the risks, and I decided to do it anyway," she interjected before he could lecture her, "I never said that I wasn't scared. It's just something I needed to do. I just needed... you."

She cupped his cheek with her hand, hoping he would understand.

"Just please don't put youself in danger like that," he said, "I just don't know what I would do if I lost you again."

"Me neither," she answered, pulling him close.

_-.- FIN -.- _

-.-

Phew! Finally finished with this behemoth. This really did run much, _much_ longer than I expected it to, and so I apologize to all the readers that I may have scared off, who just wanted a quick little dirty one-shot to read through. As you may know, that's originally what this story was supposed to be, but I had a lot of work to do to get Aeris and Cloud to a point where they were ready. I hope that makes sense now.

I also wanted to thank all of the people that helped me out and gave me feedback. This includes all of you that left reviews, but I wanted to thank a couple people in particular, for putting up with my ceaseless questioning and Emails. They are (in no particular order): Mirabelle, for getting me past my writer's block; MelissaRose85, for being open and honest with me, as well as beta-ing my materials; and of course, the wonderful Beeria, for being an institution in the Cloud/Aeris community, and giving me encouragement and someone to impress.

Along the way, of course, I found a couple of other interesting ideas for stories that I could write. Hopefully these will be much shorter, and easier to write.

Thank you all for reading (especially if you've made it this far down the page), and I hope you all take the time to leave reviews. I really look forward to hearing what all of you think.


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